Complaints Chorus (Birmingham and others cities)

Try to read the curious lyrics of the songs as an example of what you will do later on: to work in groups and create your own lyrics in English for a future song.

THE COMPLAINTS CHOIR OF BIRMINGHAM

In May 2005 we invited people of Birmingham to complain about anything they want and sing their complaints out together with fellow complainers. The project was open to everybody – no singing skills required. Many people sent in their complaints – about Birmingham, about other people, about world issues and most of all: about themselves. Fifteen people finally signed up to the project, who had the courage to take responsibility for their complaints. The Participants transformed the complaints into an impressive choir song during a two-week complaints workshop with the help of local musician Mike Hurley.

The complaints collected to the song vary from small daily irritations to global issues. Anything that truly annoys people is useful material for the Complaints Choir. In Birmingham people complained for example about unfriendly bus drivers, dead bananas and slow computers.

You can find information about the rest of the chorus in :http://www.complaintschoir.org/choirs.html


Helsinki Complaints Chorus (lyrics)

You can’t get rich by working, and love doesn’t last forever. In the public sauna they never ask if it’s ok to throw water. Old forests are cut down and turned into toilet paper. And still all the toilets are always out of paper. Why products on sale drive the people crazy? In the middle of Helsinki they built another shopping hell. My neighbour spies on me through the peephole whenever I come home with guests, and he always arrives too early for his sauna turn.

We always lose to Sweden in hockey and Eurovision. Christmas season starts earlier every year. Why do people never agree with me? Jobs go to China, tramline 3 smells of pee.

It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair!

Why is the Metre Pizza only half a metre long? And why is the cord of the vacuum cleaner too short – just like the summer. Going to work every morning, then home at night, eventually you lose your mind. The battery on my mobile is always going flat, and all ring tones are just as irritating.

Ring tones are all irritating. Ring tones are all irritating. Ring tones are all irritating. Ring tones…(Sorry, I’m in a bad spot. Call me later.)

When you buy furniture, all you get is a pile of boards. Tissues are too rough and I can never find them when I need to snueeze. My tights slip when I’m walking. There is alway a tall man in front of me. At work they pat me on the shoulder, then stab me in the back.

My dreams are boring. Reference numbers are too long.Women are still paid less than men. Bullshitters get on too well in life. The daily paper is too thick. Why always me?

It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair!

The queue for the dentist is over six months long, after waiting for so long the whole tooth must be pulled out. Nice shirts get discoloured in the wash, but ugly shirts never do. People have no time for Fair Trade goods, but still rush to where they grow. I can’t escape the headlines of the tabloids. The weather’s always foul. I don’t get laid enough…(And this is Finnish language is bloody difficult to learn.

We always lose to Sweden in hockey and Eurovision. Christmas season starts earlier every year. Why do people never agree with me? Jobs go to China, tramline 3 smells of pee.

My flat is tiny yet it eats all my money. So I’m left nothing to save the world with. People only take a stand in sms-forums. Idiots don’t know which side to stand on the escalator. My husband snores too loud and he walks too slowly, and only washes his hockey-shirts – And my wife always complains!

It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair!

Evenings wasted hiding from the TV license inspector because I don’t want to pay for sports and reality tv. The employment agency only needs Java programmers. Old people are fed with tranquilisers so they won’t complain. My friend likes his mobile phone more than he likes me. Our ancestors could have picked a sunnier place to be.

My dreams are boring. Reference numbers are too long.Women are still paid less than men. Bullshitters get on too well in life. The daily paper is too thick. Why always me?

It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair – it’s not fair!

About Miguel Santos de Vega

Profesor de inglés en IES. Navarro Villoslada, Pamplona.
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